The Freak Five
by Werd
Summary: __________


The Freak Five  
  
Starring Angel as the lead singer  
  
Oz on guitar  
  
Faith on drums  
  
Willow on keyboard/backup vocals  
  
Giles on trumpet  
  
Let's jam!  
  
"Well, I wuz walkin' down the street, when I saw a filly greet muh and I went down ta see and she danced over ta me I said-a, do ya wanna jump up and down, do ya wanna dance like some happy old clown, are ya ready to rock and roll? Let's dance our asses off...Let's rock a round the town! Yheah, she blew my mind-a, we went a-bop-bop-bop, cus she's with me. Yheah, she wants-a, she needs-a me." sang Angel, his eyes shut tightly as he held the microphone with one hand  
  
Oz shook his head as he strummed the guitar. The band continued to play as Angel took a pause in his song, nodding to the music. Giles cleared his throat and then lifted the trumpet to his lips. Giles began blaring out a tune that sounded similar to what the others were playing but much more sophisticated, almost classical.  
  
"CUT!! What the hell is going on? That was my part to come back singing." said Angel, to Giles. "No, I think, uh, I think that was Giles's part." said Willow. "Well, it doesn't really matter. I mean, c'mon, guys. The fans want ME, not some old fart on trumpet." he said.   
  
"Hey, well, Giles is a part of the group, too, you know." said Willow. "Yheah, even if that was pretty out of synch with the rest of us, there, Giles." said Oz. Giles looked peeved and slightly perturbed.   
  
"Hey, this is my band, I mean, I'm the lead singer. I don't want this dweeb stealing my time to shine." said Angel.  
  
"Oh, yheah, 'cus who would want to miss out on your great singing and lyrics?" Oz said with a high level of sarcasm. "I mean, a 'filly' is a female horse, ok?" said Oz.  
  
"And it can mean a girl, too! It's slang...isn't it?" said Angel.  
  
"No, I don't think so." said Oz.  
  
"Duuh, but *I'm* the rock star." said Angel.  
  
"Look, we all formed this band together." said Oz.  
  
Faith sighed in annoyance, her eyes half shut. "Can we just get back to the *&%$ing music, already?" she asked.  
  
"Yheah, just, Giles, can you try to play your trumpet a little softer, in the background, and not try to have a solo?" said Angel.  
  
"Wait a minute, if Giles doesn't get his solo, then, then I'm not gonna be in the band anymore!" said Willow.  
  
"Yheah, me neither." said Oz, taking off his guitar strap.  
  
"Well, hey, why don't we just kick Angel out of the band?" Faith asked.  
  
"That's a good idea." said Oz.  
  
"Oh, c'mon guys. Wait a minute! Alright, alright, we'll do things more equally." said Angel.   
  
"Ok, then, let's get back to business." said Willow, placing her fingers above the keys.  
  
"...what a way to treat the lead singer." grumbled Angel. He grabbed the microphone and began to nod his head again. The others started playing again. Angel resumed singing.  
  
Everyone began rocking again, to the empty room.  
  
Later...  
  
"Well, I guess we're all practised for our gig tonight!" said Faith. "Yheah." said Oz.   
  
That night, everyone was at a big outdoor party where The Freak Five were playing.  
  
Xander walked up to the band as they were tuning their instruments.  
  
"Hey, guys. Why can't I be in the band?" Xander asked.  
  
"Because it's The Freak Five. We've all got some freak trait to us. I'm a werewolf, Willow's a witch, Gile's is a watcher/Ripper, Faith is a Slayer, Angel's a vampire. You're just too normal, man." said Oz.  
  
Xander looked dissapointed. He turned away, slowly. "But if I had a freak trait..." Xander mused as he walked away.  
  
"Hi, guys. Bye guys." said Buffy, driving right up and past in her car. She was off to stay at a vacation home called "El Boring" in Hawaii for the next several months.  
  
"You guys ready?!" Angel said. The others nodded.   
  
Faith began beating her drums, and Willow started slamming the keyboard. Oz churned out the music on his guitar. Giles started up with his trumpet.  
  
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAEEYY!! A-babba-ooba-bubba-booba-babba....Jammin' with The Freak Five! We'll, let's rock! Let's rock your world! We're gonna rock! Whooaaah, we're here, here to party! We're here to get down! SIIINNNGG with me now, whooah, cruisin' down the street, my hair blowin' back, rockin' down the street and I ain't goin' back. We're comin' around, we're comin' to town, said I'm on the scene!" sang Angel.  
  
After several hours of playing, the band packed up to mixed reaction. Some cheered enthusiastically, while others threw beer bottles and rotten produce.   
  
"Thank you! Thank you from The Freak Five!" Faith said, taking in the praise, as they all held up their hands and waved to the crowed while walking off stage.  
  
"All in all, I'd say it was a pretty good night." said Willow.   
  
As they were driving home, Giles at the wheel, they screeched to a halt as Xander came running out in front of their car.  
  
"Xander, what are you doing here?!" asked Oz.  
  
Xander ran up to them. "You guys! I did something! I became a freak, like you! Now I can be in the band as well, a part of The Freak Five, er Six, right?" said Xander.  
  
"Wha? What did you do?" asked Willow.  
  
"I turned into a vampire!" said Xander, revealing his teeth.  
  
"Huh? Wait a minute! This band is only for good folks!" said Angel.  
  
"Yes." said Giles, adjusting his glasses. "You're soulless, I'm afraid." said Giles.  
  
"Wha?! What about Faith? Isn't she evil??" damanded Xander.  
  
"I'm reformed." said Faith.  
  
"Sorry." said Oz.  
  
"Well, that's just great! I went and did this for nothing?! Well, if I can't be in the band, I guess I'll have to...SUCK YOUR BLOOD!!" said Xander, jumping on Willow.  
  
"You moron!" said Giles, whipping out a stake. Giles staked Xander, and Xander turned to dust.   
  
"Oh, Xander..." said Willow, sadly.   
  
"Oy!" said Spike, running out of the shadows, his fists flailing in the air.   
  
"What the hell?" said Oz.   
  
"You killed my creation! I just made him!" said Spke, angrily.  
  
"Now it looks like it's your turn. Don't mess with The Freak Five." said Faith, grabbing her own stake and jumping out of the car, which, by the way, was a convertable with the top down.  
  
"Back off! Hey, get away from me!" said Spike. Spike fled.  
  
"We'll get him later." said Angel.  
  
Faith got back in the car and they went home.  
  
After they had sped away, Spike came back, scowling. Spike picked up some of the dust that Xander had turned into. Spike pocketed the dust and walked off.  
  
"BAMALAMAWHAMMA, C'mon, we're The Freak Five, and we're jumpin' around. And I wanna tELLL you....Yheah, I'm gonna tell you 'bout! 'Bout my story 'bout...ooohhh, YHEAH! Bout I was, I was rockin' round a boppin' gonna find myself along a street gonna get me somethin' good to eat, gonna get me some cotton candy!! Waaahh, eatin' that cotten candy, and handlin' the curves, said I'm feelin' the roar of the wind in my nerves..." sang Angel, as The Freak Five played again, at a house party.  
  
"We're making it. The Freak Five is getting recognition!" said Oz to Willow, while feverishly jamming on his guitar. "Yheah!" said Willow, happily grooving on her keyboard.  
  
Giles blared out on his horn, and Faith blasted away with all her might on the drums.   
  
"Oww..." said Angel, the intensified noise hurting his ears.  
  
When the night was over, The Freak Five was heading out to the convertable.   
  
Suddenly, Spike jumped up from inside the convertable.  
  
"Hello, gits!" said Spike.  
  
"You! You must really want to die, huh?" asked Faith.  
  
"Ha! Think again, luv. Look who I've got here, with me." said Spike, looking down and encouraging someone to rise. Suddenly, the ghost of Xander popped up.  
  
"Hello!" said Xander.  
  
"Xander! Whatter you doing here??" asked Angel.  
  
"I made him into a poltergiest! I took some of his ashes to a great magical woman I met recently, and she performed the task. Now nothing can stop him! Get them!" said Spike, pointing at The Freak Five. Xander laughed, frowning evilly, and flew towards the group.  
  
"Uh, oh, better run!" said Giles. They all took off. "Hold on, mate. We'll get them later. Right now, I've something I want to do." said Spike, pulling a guitar out of the convertable. "Yheah!" said Xander, floating back over.  
  
"There's a new band in town." said Spike.  
  
Soon, Spike, holding the guitar, and Xander burst into the house, where the party was wrapping up.  
  
"Don't head for the exits yet, kids! That lame old band is outta town. THis is our gig now!" said Spike, jumping onto the stage and seizing the microphone. Xander flew onto the stage and hovered in the air near Spike.  
  
"It's time for Xander and Spike's Christmas Tunes!" exclaimed Xander. "I thought we agreed it was Spike and Xander!" said Spike. "Let me have this!!" said Xander passionately, tears forming in his eyes. "Whatever." said Spike.  
  
Spike started letting his electric guitar wail out, then brought the music into a rocking version of "Holly Jolly Christmas". "Have a holly, jolly Christmas!" sang Xander, smiling. "It's the best time of the year..."   
  
Meanwhile, The Freak Five were trying to think of a plan.  
  
"Wait a minute, didn't you people see Ghostbusters?" asked Oz.  
  
"You mean, we should get one of those ghost-busting vaccume thingies?" asked Willow.   
  
"You read my mind!" said Oz.  
  
"But where will we get one of those?" asked Angel.  
  
Faith rolled her eyes. "We can't. It was a *&$%ing movie." said Faith.  
  
"Well, now, wait a moment, I think if we all work together, we may be able to put something like that together back at the library." said Giles.  
  
"Ok, whatever you say." said Angel.  
  
"Oh, so now the Old Fart knows something, hm?" said Giles.  
  
"C'mon, you two, don't start fighting, we've gotta reclaim this town!" said Willow.  
  
Oz raised an eyebrow, looking a little confused, but then they all took off.  
  
__________  
  
Giles had found the necessary parts, and the gang had put them together. Willow did a couple of spells to help the device work.   
  
"Now it needs something. A tremendous force.." Giles said, adjusting his glasses and sipping some tea, while a crumpet sat before him. "A blast of energy." said Giles.  
  
"You mean, like...some rock 'n roll??" asked Angel, loudly. They all got out their instruments. Soon, they'd all revved up and they blasted some music towards the machine they'd built.   
  
"Well, I think that should do it, don't you? It should be charged from that." said Willow, after they'd played for a couple minutes.  
  
"It looks ready to me." said Angel, staring.  
  
"Angel, that's the toaster." said Faith.  
  
______________  
  
"Faleess naveda...faleess naveda...faleess naveda...*spanish words*....I wanna wish you a marry Christmas, I wanna wish you a merry Christmas...I wanna wish you a merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart!" sang Xander, happily, as Spike jovially played his guitar.  
  
Suddenly, The Freak Five burst through the glass of the huge window behind Spike and Xander.   
  
"Take this!" said Angel, holding the machine. Oz reached over and turned it on, and it sucked Xander into it. "What the *&%$? Nooo!!" said Spike. He jumped out the window and ran off into the night.  
  
"So much for them! The Freak Five is back!" declared Angel. He accidentally dropped the machine, and it broke open, letting Xander fly out the window.  
  
"Well, it really doesn't matter that much now. If he comes back, we can stop him now that we've got the ghost-suck thingie." said Willow. "So, let's get back to the band." said Oz.   
  
Oz plugged in his guitar and started to play, and the others jumped in with their instruments. The band played the night away, rockin' to their hearts content. The Freak Five was back in business.  
  
_____________________ 


End file.
